Communication

Since we all have very different realities, how can we ever expect to understand each other?

By understanding ourselves better and how unique we are, we can begin to develop our skills at communicating with those around us and in turn, we can live more peaceful, fulfilled lives.  We can never know exactly what someone else means or what they are going through, because they are different to us, yet by understanding this concept and acting accordingly, we can begin to improve how we communicate.

I'll give you an example of this: 

Betty lost her job - she'd been working as an administrator in a busy office for most of her adult life and it was all she knew.  She loved going to work and being around the people in the office everyday.  Unfortunately due to cut backs, she was made redundant and this left her devastated.  She had been so lonely growing up, barely surviving a childhood filled with trauma and uncertainty and so when she landed a stable job; it became her sanctuary, her saviour.   

Betty's friend Pam wanted to try and reassure her and cheer her up but in Pam's life she'd always been taught to not show her emotions and to make the most of any situation.  Pam enjoyed a life filled with variety and when she lost any of her jobs, she didn't mind too much and easily found more work.  Because of her life experience, she didn't think it was a big deal and this is why she told Betty not to worry about it - that she'd easily find more work and it wasn't a big deal.  'Cheer up' she said, 'there's no point worrying about it, it's only a job'. 

Can you see where the conflict might occur in the example above?  Can you imagine how Betty felt about those comments? 

What do you think Pam should've said to Betty? 

This example shows how people can hurt each other, without intending to, just through a lack of understanding of themselves.  If Pam had understood that her life and her experiences were completely different to Betty's, she may have taken the time to find out how Betty felt about the situation. 

What Betty needed was someone to listen, to be there for her and show her they cared.  Instead she felt dismissed and even more alone and vulnerable.  Worse still, she felt betrayed by her only friend and this caused her to form a belief in her mind that she was not worthy of friends or of love.  If only Betty had understood herself better, then she would have realised that Pam was trying to help her, in the only way she knew how.  Perhaps then she could have explained to Pam that all she needed was for her to listen for a while and be there for her. 

Once we become more aware of ourselves and how our brains work, our perspective can shift, making us more understanding towards others.  We can then 'think responsibly' and choose how we want to act in any given situation.  We can pay more attention to the non-verbal clues from the people around us which tell us a lot more about how the person is feeling than their words.  Scientists have also discovered that emotions from others are literally transferred to those nearby so when we begin to recognise this, we can use this information to choose how to respond. 

If a friend tells you something is troubling them but in your mind it doesn't seem that important, take a moment to use your intuition, looking at their body language, tone and so on, and try to get a sense of how they are feeling.  You can ask open questions that allow them to tell you how it is for them.  Even if you can't pick up on any cues, you can still ask open questions to find out more about how they are feeling.  If they don't want to talk much, you might want to reassure them that you are there for them rather than giving them advice based on your own experiences - your own reality. 

Assumptions about people and situations can be the cause of much conflict and the key to communication is recognising our different reactions to different situations and honouring that.

Remember, you are responsible for you - what you think, how you feel and how you act.  AND, you also have an affect on those around you and they have an affect on you. SO, pay attention to your thoughts and feelings and ask yourself if they are good and right for you.  If they are not, look at those around you - how do they react to you?  How do you make others feel?  Don't be hard on yourself, be curious and make positive changes that make you feel good.  Unless of course you are already living according to your highest good and your relationships are fantastic - if that's the case, well done!  Keep up the good work!

Sometimes we need a helping hand on our journey, whether it's from a doctor, a therapist or a friend and this is completely normal and can be extremely useful when making positive changes in our lives.  If you would like any further advice from me, please send me an email to wendy@holistics4harmony.co.uk
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Picture Peace Uk & Hypnosis 4 Harmony on You Tube:

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Watch my Hypnosis 4 Harmony video to learn about how the subconscious mind works and how you can use holistic therapies like Hypnotherapy and EFT to undo old unwanted habits and create new positive ones.

Picture Peace UK

Take a look at the Picture Peace UK video to find out a bit more about my project and how you can get involved. I am offering an exciting opportunity for you to join in with others across the UK and experience a LIVE visualisation meditation. I will be your guide on this journey of finding inner peace and creating peace in your life. The best bit? It's completely free for anyone to join in and find out the benefits for themselves.

Like my videos and need a personal or professional video for yourself? If you are in the Gloucestershire area get in touch and I'll put you in contact with Videographer Jason Murphy - and you can enjoy a 10% discount for going through me.

Events
The World Wide Energy Awareness Event: http://energy888.org/

Organisations/People of Interest
Celestine Vision, Global Prayer Project - watch their video at globalprayerproject.com/ (they have a similar vision to Picture Peace UK, however to join in live in the UK you would need to tune in at about 1am - its good stuff though, James Redfield author of The Celestine Prophecy runs the project with his wife Salle.

Action for Happiness, www.actionforhappiness.org/ (You may have seen them on BBC Breakfast, they are a fairly new movement for positive social change. They're bringing together people from all walks of life who want to play a part in creating a happier society for everyone).

World Peace Prayer Society, http://www.worldpeace-uk.org/ (Their mission is to spread the message 'May Peace Prevail on Earth', to help achieve harmony within the individual, in society, and with our environment, where 'peace' is seen as the highest aspiration of humanity).

The Big Peace, http://thebigpeace.com/the-90-day-programme/ (A Free 90 Day Coaching Program To Help You Finally Find Inner Peace And Contentment)

Related Articles:
Article: Picture Peace UK: Using EFT & Visualisation to create inner and outer peace

Article: Tapping into Feelings - Using Positive Visualisation with EFT

Hug Chain: When was the last time you really hugged someone?

Books (Links to these at Amazon opposite):

Bruce Lipton PH.D, Biology of Belief

Dr. David Hamilton, It's the Thought That Counts

Joseph Chiltern Pearce, Evolution's End

Dr. Larry Dossey, Healing Beyond the Body

Amanda Lowe, Bliss
Joe Dispenza, Evolve your Brain
Jack Canfield and Eva Gregory, Life Lessons for Mastering the Law of Attraction
James Redfield, The Celestine Prophecy

Films (Links to these at Amazon opposite):

The Secret

What the bleep do we know?

Water

Pay it Forward