Monday 26 September 2011

Kindness and Appreciation

10 Tips for a peaceful life

This week's blog comes after a week's holiday in Malta. I decided to take a week off from technology altogether which was quite a feat but well worth it.

I noticed that even on holiday, people seem to not be able to switch off from using their phones and laptops.  Now we have smartphones and it's relatively inexpensive to use them abroad (and you can easily access the internet for free with wi-fi), more and more people are not really taking a break from their normal lives.  They can still get their work emails and answer queries, and they can do updates on Facebook; uploading photos straight away.  All this is very convenient and can be fun but are we actually getting true relaxation when we do this?  Are we really taking the time to switch off our minds and just 'be' with our surroundings?  Do we ever take time in our day to day lives to appreciate all that we have or are we too busy rushing around and worrying about all the things we need to do?

I've decided for this week to give you a list of things that you can do to help you to switch off from all the noise and chatter of the modern world so you can relax and re-focus your mind.  It's simple things that once practised for a short while, can easily become a part of your daily life.  They are things that I do, on most days that help me enjoy my life to the full (don't worry if you don't do it all the time and make sure you don't beat yourself up if you miss something - be proud of yourself for every small achievement along the way).

Whether on holiday or at home, we can all benefit from slowing down and taking in all that surrounds us.

Science has shown that acts of kindness, and appreciation can make us healthier and happier, giving us the peace of mind that many may feel is unreachable.  If we do this on a regular basis, we can become more in tune with our intuition and may even find that our concept of time slows down, despite the fast pace that is encouraged by modern society.  Since I have done this, I have had more time and felt less stressed despite being busier.  You may be surprised just how much time you can find in a day when you're not spending it worrying or procrastinating or taking three times longer than you need to complete a task.

1. Give thanks for the day ahead when you first wake up:
It's so easy to allow your first thoughts to be of dread when you first wake up - worrying about what you need to do, not wanting to get up just yet etc. But, if you can give thanks for the day ahead and catch yourself before you allow any negative train of thought to occur, or stop the train of thought in its tracks then after about three weeks of doing this you will probably feel the difference as giving thanks becomes a habit.  The trick is to be genuine in your thanks (even if you are just grateful that you are alive and survived another day!)

2. Drink a glass of water quickly as soon as you wake and give thanks:
Water on waking makes your organs very happy and sets you up for the day ahead.  Giving thanks for the privilege of being able to consume the water and for the good it does for your body, amplifies the feeling.  Drinking it quickly will give you that instant boost and help you to feel more awake and ready to face the day.

3. Write a gratitude list, read it everyday and update it regularly:
You can write it anywhere - on your computer, or phone memo or on paper (I prefer this option as it is more relaxing for your mind).  The most important thing is that you read it everyday and add to it whenever you think of something else you are grateful for.  Examples of things to be grateful for range from breathing and being alive to the sound of the birds in the morning to having a phone and house, or good friends - anything goes!

4. Give thanks before eating, drinking and other activities:
This act of giving thanks, whether it be to God, the universe or those that worked hard so that you could receive this gift is a fulfilling experience that brings your focus to the present moment.  It helps remind you about what is truly important in life.

5. Smile at strangers, perform acts of kindness:
Did you know that if you smile at someone it is physically impossible for them not to smile back?  They can try not to smile, and it may not be completely obvious that they are smiling but if you look carefully, you'll see that at the very least, the corners of their mouth will turn up slightly.  It is an involuntary, knee-jerk reaction!  Next time you in a shop and the person serving you looks grumpy, instead of being annoyed with them or ignoring them, try beaming your biggest smile at them and see what happens!  Also, if you're rushing around town, why not take the time to hold the door open for someone or be courteous in some way - there are so many opportunities in a day to help someone or make them smile and the more you do it, the better you'll feel because of all those happy chemicals that your brain will release!

6. Take the time to listen to your friends and family:
You may do this already, but one thing I have noticed as a therapist is that friends and family seem to spend a lot of time mis-communicating.  If someone you love comes to you with a problem, it's ok to give you opinion but only after you have listened and asked questions about their situation.  No-one likes to be told you know exactly how they should feel or exactly what they should do, especially if you haven't taken the time to hear about how a situation is making them feel. 

Remember, we are all different and it can be very rewarding, finding out more about all the people in your life.  And if you feel that no-one ever asks you how you feel and people always talk over you - think about how you relate to others.  If you feel that you are a giving listener to them but they do not return the same courtesy, then it's ok to gently point out to your friend or family member, what it is that you need.  You know that they are trying to help you but they don't always realise that what they are doing is having the opposite effect!

7. Be understanding and forgiving of others:
Now this one applies to anyone in your past or present that you feel has done you wrong.  Resentment and anger are powerful emotions and if you hold onto them for long periods of time, they will have a destructive effect on your body and mind, manifesting themselves in different ways.  If someone has done you wrong, release the power they have over you by letting go of the painful feelings you hold for them.  Take back your power by resolving your feelings, whether it is by forgiving them (for they know no better), pitying them (you'd rather be you) or whatever feels right for you.  Just know that you are only harming yourself by hanging onto these powerful emotions - release them safely by shouting, hitting a pillow, writing down all the expletives you'd like to say to them, seeking help from a qualified therapist or counsellor or whatever feels right for you.  It's important to follow your intuition here and you'll know when you're healed because you'll feel like a weight has lifted.

8.  Search for the positives in life, focus on the good:
If you were to live the same day twice, doing exactly the same things in each day but on Day 1.1 you look for all the bad in people, society and the world and on Day 1.2 you look for all the good in people, society and the world.  What do you think the difference would be?  Are you realistic in Day 1.1 and a fool in Day 1.2?  

Think about Day 1.1 right now - you constantly nurture thoughts that make you feel bad and find reasons why your life is not what you want it to be; you blame everything and everyone for your misery and you resist and resent everything from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to sleep - how exhausting is that?  What do you achieve?

Now think about Day 1.2 - You are grateful for the day ahead when you wake, you are sensitive to the needs of your body and give it plenty of water and good food, you are kind to others and enjoy the kindness and love from others, you see beauty all around you, you see opportunities and challenges, rather than obstacles and failings, you spend time thinking about what you do have rather than what you don't.  Does this sound possible to you?  Is it more fun than Day 1.1?  Do you believe you have the power to create either option as you choose?

9. Find things to make you laugh and smile:
Think of happy memories, read a funny email, watch a funny video or programme, tease someone or play a little joke on them (so long as it's something they won't mind that won't get you into trouble!) Find ways to have more fun and be more childlike in your day.  We can be too serious as adults and feel weighed down by responsibilities but life can be fun if you make it!  You may want to sing and dance when you do the cleaning!  Or give yourself a wink and a smile in the mirror! Silliness makes you healthy!

10. Give thanks at night for the day and spend a few minutes visualising:
Make a movie in your mind of you being successful at something you are going to do the next day, even if it's just having fun with people or getting your work done on time.  It's important to make it seem real and create the feelings that you would have if it had happened.  Then visualise sending those that you love blessing of healing energy or visualise them happy and in good health. 

Missed the last episode of PPUK?
Feeling and Directing Energy in the Body
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Picture Peace Uk & Hypnosis 4 Harmony on You Tube:

Hypnosis 4 Harmony



Watch my Hypnosis 4 Harmony video to learn about how the subconscious mind works and how you can use holistic therapies like Hypnotherapy and EFT to undo old unwanted habits and create new positive ones.

Picture Peace UK


Take a look at the Picture Peace UK video to find out a bit more about my project and how you can get involved. I am offering an exciting opportunity for you to join in with others across the UK and experience a LIVE visualisation meditation. I will be your guide on this journey of finding inner peace and creating peace in your life. The best bit? It's completely free for anyone to join in and find out the benefits for themselves.

Like my videos and need a personal or professional video for yourself? If you are in the Gloucestershire area get in touch and I'll put you in contact with Videographer Jason Murphy - and you can enjoy a 10% discount for going through me.

Events
13th October 2011 - Talk:  Picture Peace UK: Isbourne Holistic Centre, Cheltenham  http://www.isbourne.org/index.php?option=com_jcalpro&Itemid=60&extmode=view&extid=2982&date=2011-10-13 

20th October & 3rd November, 2011- Course: Be Who YOU Want to Be: Overcoming Unwanted Behaviours: Isbourne Holistic Centre, Cheltenham 
http://www.isbourne.org/index.php?option=com_jcalpro&Itemid=60&extmode=view&extid=3054&date=2011-10-20 

The World Wide Energy Awareness Event: http://energy888.org/

Organisations/People of Interest
Celestine Vision, Global Prayer Project - watch their video at globalprayerproject.com/ (they have a similar vision to Picture Peace UK, however to join in live in the UK you would need to tune in at about 1am - its good stuff though, James Redfield author of The Celestine Prophecy runs the project with his wife Salle.

Action for Happiness, www.actionforhappiness.org/ (You may have seen them on BBC Breakfast, they are a fairly new movement for positive social change. They're bringing together people from all walks of life who want to play a part in creating a happier society for everyone).

World Peace Prayer Society, http://www.worldpeace-uk.org/ (Their mission is to spread the message 'May Peace Prevail on Earth', to help achieve harmony within the individual, in society, and with our environment, where 'peace' is seen as the highest aspiration of humanity).

The Big Peace, http://thebigpeace.com/the-90-day-programme/ (A Free 90 Day Coaching Program To Help You Finally Find Inner Peace And Contentment)

Related Articles:
Article: Picture Peace UK: Using EFT & Visualisation to create inner and outer peace

Article: Tapping into Feelings - Using Positive Visualisation with EFT

Hug Chain: When was the last time you really hugged someone?



Books (Links to these at Amazon opposite):
Bruce Lipton PH.D, Biology of Belief
Dr. David Hamilton, It's the Thought That Counts
Joseph Chiltern Pearce, Evolution's End
Dr. Larry Dossey, Healing Beyond the Body
Amanda Lowe, Bliss
Joe Dispenza, Evolve your Brain
Jack Canfield and Eva Gregory, Life Lessons for Mastering the Law of Attraction
James Redfield, The Celestine Prophecy

Films (Links to these at Amazon opposite):
The Secret
What the bleep do we know?
Water
Pay it Forward